Anger can be healthy

Apart from having other priorities in my list of things to defeat, I was quite sure I had fully controlled my childhood anger. Let’s face it once you go through the hellish training of staying calm, rational and sweet-tempered while dealing with mutinous teenagers, controlling anger is a snap.

Now I’m told that anger is good. Let me clarify that. Some anger is good.

I know perfectly well that everyone feels angry at times, and we are supposed to know how to express our feelings in a healthy way and how to react calmly when something causes us to feel angry. I thought I had achieved that.

But have I been poisoning my health all these years? Did I get it all wrong?

Researchers have even found a link between unexpressed anger and depression in women. So now I’m depressed about unexpressed anger, another load to pile onto my burden of guilt. Sometimes I think my most constant companion is guilt. Is there a way to get rid of guilt? A pill? A patch?

I’ve just finished reading The Dance of Anger: A Woman’s Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships and now I’m more confused than I was to begin with.

Harriet Lerner has some lessons in this book, lessons for learning how to reclaim your self (and your life) when lost in the ‘dance of anger‘. She includes excellent examples of how to withdraw from entanglement with anger with both your dignity and your humanity in place.

OK, like most women, I’ve spent a lot of time doing things for others and, while not expecting anything in return, still getting angry when no one would lift a finger for me when I needed it. Thanks for telling me where I went wrong, Harriet, but it’s a little late for that now.

Dance of Anger is surprisingly clear in the descriptions of anger in women, I was relieved to find I wasn’t the only one. But I’m still angry.

Studies are now showing poor sleep could actually lead to illnesses including psychiatric conditions, attention deficit disorder, post traumatic stress and depression. That’s a cheery thought!

Sleep problems have long been associated with mental health conditions, but it was believed that they were a side effect of the disease. Now, however, scientists reckon that sleeping difficulties could be the causes of some mental health problems.

If you’re having Sleep Problems

Rituals : Anyone who cared for a baby knows about rituals, now use a ritualistic approach yourself to prepare for sleep.

• Relax at least an hour before bedtime
• Put a few droplets of lavender oil on your pillow
• Make sure your night clothing is comfortable and cool
• Do some deep breathing – breathe in deeply for four counts, watching your stomach rise, and then breathe out for four counts-for about ten minutes (60 breaths)
• Imagine your best dreams that could happen.

Teach yourself to fall asleep in a regular schedule by going to bed and waking up at the same time every day, even on weekends

It takes approximately three weeks for your body to permanently adjust to routine. That’s not very long at all. If you still feel you need some outside help, try a sleep relaxation CD.

Sleep Solutions (The Calming Collection)Sleep meditation techniques for a drug-free solution.

Roberta Shapiro, an experienced hypnotherapist with a wonderful soothing voice, coaches the listener into falling asleep.

These techniques not only help insomnia, but anxiety as well. I recommend listening to the CD on a portable CD player with headphones or put it on your iPod.

After listening a number of times, you learn her relaxation techniques so you’re able to fall asleep on your own.

What happened to me?

Varicose veins! My legs have been concealed  in long pants all winter and I never suspected the horrible blue lumpy stripes were there.

The heart can pump blood to the toes in one beat, but it needs to pump a full five beats before the blood can make the return trip. The constant uphill battle against the force of gravity eventually takes its toll on our veins. By the time we reach the age of 50, about one in four of us has at least one bulging, blue-tinged ropy reason not to wear shorts.

I’m the one in that four.

Before I start thinking of dire actions like surgery, I talked with my doctor and looked for natural ways to stop the veins appearing (too late in my case) and ways to reduce the ones already present. We should all be doing these simple things.

Remedies

1. Get gravity working for us. Elevate your legs above the level of your heart three or four times a day for 5 to 10 minutes. Prop your feet up on some pillows or sit in a reclining chair with your feet up.

2. Don’t stand or sit in one place for too long. When you’re sitting at your desk, wiggle your toes, flex your feet and move your ankles in circular swings ankles several times every 30 minutes. Go on do it now! Get up and walk around at least once an hour for 3 to 4 minutes. If you have to stand in one place, move up and down on your tiptoes

3. Avoid high heels. They increase the pressure in your veins and reduce the ability of your calf muscle to pump, although wearing heels occasionally shouldn’t cause problems.

4. Cool down your showers. Avoid bathing in hot water.

Natural Treatment

1.Marigold
A compress of this marigold flowers applied externally. I personally know this little flower in a compress as fabulous for any inflamed skin.

2. Apple cider vinegar compress.
Saturate a cloth with the vinegar and leave on for 30 min utes

3. Cold water or cold packs
Spray your legs with cold water or use a cold pack.

4. Massage your legs with soothing lotion, such as St John’s wort oil, lanolin, or massage oil, using an upward motion with your fingertips to force blood out of the veins in your legs and back to your heart.

This short video describes the cause of varicose veins. The main cause is, sadly, our age.

While this video (1.40 seconds) tells you pretty much what I have just written, it’s a pleasure to watch Amanda McQuade Crawford, medicinal herbalist, talking about the benefits of certain herbs and foods for untangling varicose veins.

and this one shows simple exercises for feet and legs using yoga techniques to combat varicose veins (if you can handle staring at a man’s legs for 4 minutes).