About Anger
Anger can be healthy
Apart from having other priorities in my list of things to defeat, I was quite sure I had fully controlled my childhood anger. Let’s face it once you go through the hellish training of staying calm, rational and sweet-tempered while dealing with mutinous teenagers, controlling anger is a snap.
Now I’m told that anger is good. Let me clarify that. Some anger is good.
I know perfectly well that everyone feels angry at times, and we are supposed to know how to express our feelings in a healthy way and how to react calmly when something causes us to feel angry. I thought I had achieved that.
But have I been poisoning my health all these years? Did I get it all wrong?
Researchers have even found a link between unexpressed anger and depression in women. So now I’m depressed about unexpressed anger, another load to pile onto my burden of guilt. Sometimes I think my most constant companion is guilt. Is there a way to get rid of guilt? A pill? A patch?
I’ve just finished reading The Dance of Anger: A Woman’s Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships and now I’m more confused than I was to begin with.
Harriet Lerner has some lessons in this book, lessons for learning how to reclaim your self (and your life) when lost in the ‘dance of anger‘. She includes excellent examples of how to withdraw from entanglement with anger with both your dignity and your humanity in place.
OK, like most women, I’ve spent a lot of time doing things for others and, while not expecting anything in return, still getting angry when no one would lift a finger for me when I needed it. Thanks for telling me where I went wrong, Harriet, but it’s a little late for that now.
Dance of Anger is surprisingly clear in the descriptions of anger in women, I was relieved to find I wasn’t the only one. But I’m still angry.
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Yes, we are supposed to be angry in menopause – if we are not, then we just explode in rage in the “home” years later. Get it done now!
Joan Adams’s last blog post..Family-Friendly Removable Tattoos updated Sat Oct 31 2009 10:04 am CDT
Just found this site and had to read this post over because it has great, honest information. I would like to read the book, but agree it is late for me also. Really could have used it years ago. Finding myself losing patience with menopausal s/s esp hot flashes. Just ordered Gem Keep It Cool drink. Will let you know how it works. Hoping others will do the same. I researched the ingredients, have not used black cohosh for quite awhile, combined with the other substances, sounds like a tasty juice drink to help cool me anyway.
I’m a kind of Buddhist, but still I get angry everyday, to everyone.
My teacher said “Anger is the energy of your life.If you don’t get angry, it’s the end of your life.You aren’t the Buddha, and you don’t have to be like him either.”
So, I’m trying to get angry as possible, if someone said to me “You seem to have menopausal problem.”
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I think peace is the biggest thing.
Troublesome Symptoms While Menopause
Menopause Symptoms
Menopause is the turning point of women when they stop ovulating. It is natural problem. Usually women, who are reaching the age of around 50, pass this period. Actually it changes the life of women. They lose fertility in this time and they cannot give birth anymore.
In this period, the monthly cycle of women which is called menstrual cycle is stopped, because production of estrogen becomes less in that time. Thus ovulation is finished. Approximately 70% of women experience this problem. So there are some problems regarding menopause. Some of troubles may be very harmful for women. There are 7 common symptoms which are treated as very dangerous.
The first problem is putting on weight. Due to this problem, women face trouble around the waist, hips and thighs, because of hormonal changes. Change in metabolism is also responsible.
Alice Russel’s last blog post..Troublesome Symptoms While Menopause